more nightmares, but better life goals

okay so yes, the nightmares continue. good/bad things happening with me and my ex.

But at least in the last few weeks i have come to find more focus and view some goals. Thank God, cause I've been running around clueless looking for some direction.

Less gaming more studying. life is short and if I worry too much about what the people around me is doing I might just forget to enjoy it for myself.

If given a lot for friends. I've given up my true love, but that's a story for another day.

I'm gonna kick ass and take names. It's my turn to live life. And like barney from "how I met your mother", would say. "I'm awesome!"

peace out.

Early morning nightmares

17th of June, 03:30 +- i'm ripped out of a nightmare. Thank goodness. Another freakin nightmare.

The last few months I've been plagued by nightmares... Nightmares of her, my ex. I broke her heart again and frankly I deserve these nightmares. But since they started I tried to get closure.

I cannot make contact, she ignores my emails and I lost her number (after a drunken incident) and also her sister, friends and family would not be happy to see me close to her.

But somehow I must gain closure, must end this torture. I hope she either moves on and let me know that she's forgiven me or maybe... just maybe let me make it up. Earn her forgiveness.

Another choice is to move on, on my own and just find a new love, forget about her and just live a new live... the choice is there, but I don't know when to turn.

For now, I'm just gonna try and gain a peacefull night's sleep.